Then Thomas, who is called the Twin, said to his fellow disciples, “Let us also go that we may die with Him.” John 11:16
Jesus had recently been in Jerusalem and His words had caused such a stir that the Jews sought to stone Him (John 10:31,39) Now He was speaking to His disciples of going back to Bethany which was very near Jerusalem. His disciples were concerned because of the danger of going back there. The fear that filled them even caused them to ignore the need of one dear to their group – Lazarus, who was very sick. But Jesus had heard from the Father and knew there was a work to be done in Bethany. As the disciples continued to argue with Him, He told them plainly that Lazarus was dead and then added, “let us go to him.”
Thomas, who is always known primarily as the doubter, has lost credibility with most of us and his words in verse 16, “let us also go that we may die with Him”, have been labeled as pessimism. But not only has Jesus recently been in danger at the hands of violent men, he has also just said that they are going to Lazarus – a man that is in the grave. What other conclusion could Thomas, or any of them, have come to. They must have all felt that their very lives were in danger if they continued on with Jesus. And it is Thomas that encouraged the group to look the consequences square in the eye and to move forward with Jesus anyway. This is the level of commitment that a disciple is called to – to follow Jesus wherever He leads. Even if it is to death. And it is Thomas who reminded them of this.
Can we remind ourselves of this today? Here in comfortable American Christianity, can we remind ourselves that Jesus still expects disciples unto death? The death of martyrdom seems unlikely here, for the moment anyway, but does He not require of us a death to all the allurements and distractions of this world? Does He not expect from us a detachment from the amusements and entertainments that the lost chase after? If we were called upon to lay our lives down as martyrs, how could we ever do it if we have not first learned to lay down the remote control in favor of the prayer closet?
I love going to restaurants that serve bread before the meal. Sometimes I enjoy the bread so much that I don’t have room left for the meal and end up taking most of it home in a go-box.
One thing about bread though, it needs something with it otherwise it’s just kinda plain and dry. It needs butter, or honey, or sandwich meat and mayo. Something. By itself it just isn’t quite satisfying.
“Then Jesus said to them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, Moses did not give you the bread from heaven, but My Father gives you the true bread from heaven.” John 6:32
The bread from heaven that came down in the wilderness for Israel was symbolic of the bread that was to come. But it wasn’t that bread and couldn’t satisfy. We read of Israel’s complaining about the manna because they became weary of it. It wasn’t the true bread.
How often are we found trying to satisfy ourselves with something that the Father only meant to be a pointer to lead us to Jesus? Even our spiritual disciplines, which are important and necessary, can fall into this category. We pray and fast and read the Bible, but find that we keep looking for something to add because we just aren’t quite satisfied. It is only when these things lead us into true communion with the living Lord that we will find contentment and satisfaction.
Jesus needs nothing added. The true bread doesn’t need any butter.
“No one has seen God at any time. The only begotten Son, Who is in the bosom of the Father, He has declared Him.” John 1:18
What more intimate place could there be than the bosom? It is the place where the infant is comforted and nourished. It is the place where the lover will rest his head to be near the beloved’s heart. It is not a place appropriate for the casual acquaintance. Only those truly known and dearly loved are welcome in the bosom.
The Son was in the bosom of the Father, receiving His love, knowing His heart and His secret counsels. There was such an intimate communion and knowing, that He could declare the Father and make Him known to those who had never seen Him. In the bosom of the Father, for those who will venture near enough to recline upon His holy, heavenly bosom, there is a spiritual seeing and knowing that all our study of theology and listening to sermons will never produce. And from that place of learning Him, we too are made able to declare Him.
For 2 years I’ve been part of my church’s prison ministry to Angola, the state’s maximum security prison. One of the high points of the month for me is the evening we spend at Angola having a church service with them. However, one of the difficulties has been that there is not much time for personal interaction with the inmates, and even what little time there is, as a woman I have to be very careful with how I interact with these men. I have had a desire to have access to LCIW (Louisiana Correctional Institute for Women) but there were no available time slots for a new ministry.
But in May I learned about a discipleship program that uses volunteers. I immediately began making calls. I found out what training was required and attended the course, only to be told that they didn’t have many evening spots available and those usually filled up quickly. After the training I contacted the volunteer coordinator, who again told me there wasn’t a spot available for me. However, she did need someone who could be available to substitute if one of the regular volunteers was unavailable, so I gladly agreed to do this. And I waited……….
Then, a few weeks ago I got the phone call. I was needed to fill in. I was nervous, anxious, unsure of what the prison would be like or what the inmates would be like. My stomach was in a knot as I walked through the prison to the chapel with the other volunteers. I walked into the main meeting room to await the arrival of the inmates. They slowly trickled in by two’s and three’s and when they saw me, a new face they didn’t recognize, they came over to meet me and hug me. Within ten minutes I felt like I was at home.
I led a discussion group with about 8 of the ladies and immediately decided that I liked them very much. My only sorrow that whole evening was knowing that it was just a one time thing. They asked me to come back next week, but I felt sure that was impossible……until I got the email asking me to substitute again the following week. And the second week was better than the first! Four weeks have passed now since that first visit and I am a regular now. Even when I’m not needed to lead the group, the team leader has given her approval for me to come and be there. And somehow, just seeing my face there let’s these women know that I genuinely care about them.
It is a blessing to be part of what God is doing at LCIW.
My church has a time of prayer before the Sunday morning service. I have my own little spot where I go to pray. I like to sit on the floor between two pews so I am hidden away. Earlier this year during one of these morning prayer sessions, a lady I hadn’t seen before came into the prayer service and came and sat down on the floor right next to me. She looked at me and smiled with a big smile. I was a bit shocked because nobody had ever come and sat down on the floor with me. I didn’t quite know what to say. She broke the silence with a question – “God doesn’t like it when we sin, does He?” In the brief interaction that followed I could tell that she had some level of mental disability. For whatever reason, she latched onto me. Ever since then she would walk to church in the morning from the nearby apartments and then ask me to bring her home after church. She didn’t always act “appropriately” in our Sunday School and church service. Sometimes she said Amen in the wrong place, or ate way too many donuts in the church kitchen before Sunday School. Things like that. She’s just a little bit different from the rest of us.
Last Sunday during the altar time after the service was over, I could hear her voice. It kept getting louder, until you could surely hear it throughout the whole sanctuary. Over and over she kept saying “Hallelujah!” with deep and loud emotion. It wasn’t proper in our reserved little church. I heard her one last time exclaiming “let everything that has breath praise the Lord” and then she collapsed on the floor in tears.
She was the most simple minded among us that morning, and I am convinced the most pleasing to God.
A brother from church called me yesterday, telling me that the Lord had put on his heart to go door to door witnessing to the people in his condo complex. He wanted to get a few other people to come help him and asked if I wanted to come.
Last night’s witnessing had gone so well, and the people were attentive while we spoke to them, that I was very excited to have another chance to do it again so soon. We met together and prayed and then split up into pairs. Many people were not home. Two people shut the door in my face. And then there was the elderly man watering the grass as he puffed on his pipe. He had to be in his eighties. Two of us walked over to talk to him and when he heard the name of Jesus he became very agitated. He insisted that he had a relationship with the Lord, but when we told him the Bible said Jesus is Lord, he became angry. “He’s not my Lord. He said a lot of things, but He’s never done anything for me.” And he walked away.
Jesus is Lord. This man will one day be convinced of that. My heart has been breaking for him all day. I pray that the Holy Spirit will convince him of it before he meets Christ in eternity.
I had previously shared a bit about my experience years ago in street ministry. I’ve thought about it a lot lately, remembering the joy there was in consistently sharing this wonderful gospel. Somehow the cares of this life pulled me away from evangelism as a lifestyle. Why I have been content in this state of affairs, I cannot understand. But God, in His kindness, has rekindled within my heart the desire to make the gospel of Jesus known. For several months now I have prayed for God to send a like minded person to partner with me. And He has!
Tonight I went with my dear friend Michelle to an apartment complex close to our church. It is terribly hot and humid here in Louisiana, but there were many people outside this afternoon….just waiting to hear the gospel. So for an hour and a half Michelle and I walked around the complex and shared Christ with several individuals and several groups. It was amazing to watch as the Spirit of God began to bring conviction of sin. We felt that the Lord had led us to people who were ready to hear. As it began to get dark we made our way back to the car, filled with joy. People heard the gospel tonight.
Have you ever felt that stirring in your heart that seemed to indicate that the Lord was changing the way you thought or felt or reacted to certain things? Sometimes it can feel like your entire soul is in upheaval during the process. I have been living in this condition (more or less) for about two years.
I have wondered what it all meant. Why was I so restless? I would tell the Lord in prayer, “If You would just tell me what this is all about, and what it is that You want me to do, I’ll do it”. It was a sincere prayer that I thought I meant. However, now that He has begun showing me what all these stirrings mean I realize that I was not ready to respond. For the past two years He has been working in my heart to get me ready for this.
Not long ago I was reading the story of when Jesus called Matthew the tax collector to be His disciple. It says in Luke 5:27-28:
“After these things He went out and saw a tax collector named Levi, sitting at the tax office. And He said to him, “Follow Me.” So he left all, rose up, and followed Him.”
My attention was drawn to what seemed to be an unusual word order in verse 28. If I was telling the story I would have written it like this: “So he rose up, left all, and followed Him.” After all, don’t you have to actually get up before you can leave something?
But I think the Holy Spirit wanted to show me what He has been doing in my heart for the past two years. Before anyone can truly rise up and follow Christ, there has to be a leaving all that happens in the heart. Our possessions possess us. The familiar gives us a sense of security. Having something of our own allows us to feel independent. And all of these things need to be stripped away. For Christ would have us be possessed by Him, and find all our security in Him, and depend upon Him. But we are so tethered to this world, that unless He loosed us from these earthly shackles we would spend all our life desiring to rise up and follow, but never actually able to do it.
He has been in no particular hurry with me. Two years seems like an eternity to me, but the Lord has been willing to take this long to do such a work in my heart. He hasn’t asked me to leave my home and family, or to sell everything I have. But I do believe now (as I did when I was first born again), that this life of mine is no longer mine, and I cannot expect that it will be lived in a way that the world calls “normal”.
There is a battle, and for too long I have watched it from afar, fearful of the danger. But I have discovered that the safety of my hiding places is only an illusion and could possibly be the most dangerous place of all.
I thank the Lord for His patience with me and for His loving kindness and for the great blessedness there is in being a follower of His. And I look forward to what lies ahead………
The word of God is a living word that speaks to my life. When I slow down and listen, He speaks to me through it. And many times He confronts and challenges me with it. Yesterday was one of those days. I was reading Luke 21:1-4:
“And He looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the treasury, and He saw also a certain poor widow putting in two mites. So He said, “Truly I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than all, for all these out of their abundance have put in offerings for God, but she out of her poverty put in all the livelihood that she had.”
It is as though Jesus is contrasting two different kinds of people. Both groups are at the temple. Both groups are giving to the Lord. But one group gives God gifts and the other gives God themselves.
The word “livelihood” caught my attention. It is the word “BIOS”, which means life. This widow gave her life. She kept back nothing for herself. She had no way to sustain herself or to meet her own needs. She was utterly cast upon the Lord. This kind of giving is uncomfortable….fearful even. But sometimes it seems that there is no alternative. The working of God upon the soul will bring us all eventually to the settled conviction that it is unreasonable and even impossible to continue with life as is. All must be laid on the altar, tossed into the treasury, placed at His feet.
Have you ever felt that way? What is one to do when it seems that God is requiring a surrender of everything comfortable and familiar for…..something unknown, unrevealed and almost certainly unexpected?
Surrender. For the servant of the Lord is there really any other answer?
He is my Delight 