“meanwhile praying also for us, that God would open to us a door for the word, to speak the mystery of Christ, for which I am also in chains.” Colossians 4:3
There was a time when I thought it was very important that God should open a door for my “ministry”. I prayed for this and believed for this. I look back on that time in my life now and am ashamed of myself. How utterly selfish and self-seeking those prayers were. I did want Jesus to be glorified….as long as it happened through me. And of course I would certainly remain a humble servant while being celebrated as an anointed woman of God.
As ridiculous as that sounds, that really was the essence of my thoughts at one point in my life. While I might have prayed for God to open a door for the gospel, I really wanted Him to open a door for me.
The Lord rescued me from this mindset through a great disappointment that left me hurting and heart broken for a very long time. Today I can look back at it and thank Him from the depths of my heart for it.
I still pray for God to open doors, and He still does. And while I have the privilege of walking through those doors, I understand now that they are not for me. They are for the furtherance of this great gospel of Jesus Christ.
Very well said. So much I can relate too. It seems as though the Lord is being patient this time around to work out all the dross. This time as He now has my full attention, I believe He wants to make the most of it; which reminds me – I remember praying on the front end of what I knew was going to be a difficult time, that the Lord would get all He could out of it so that I didn’t have to go through it again. If He has no other prayer of mine, I believe He has heard that one.