As this year began, there was a restless stirring in my soul. I couldn’t put a name to it, or identify a precise reason for it. There was just this vague knowing that God was about to do something. So I waited and prayed. The prayer that seemed to spring from my heart unbidden, with a life of it’s own, was “Lord, what do I lack?”
The days turned into weeks, and yet there was no answer. Still there was the question, “Lord, what do I lack?” As truly as the Scriptures say that He will be found by those who seek Him, He did indeed send the answer. It started with an email I received. (You can read it here)
As I read about the daily life of these believers, I was cut to the heart. I had evaluated my walk with God by comparing my life with other believers that I knew. But my error suddenly seemed so clear as I sensed the Lord saying “why have you assumed the American church is the proper standard of measure?”
I began to review my spiritual life and saw how I had bought into American church culture as normal and acceptable to God. How about this phrase……God understands that you don’t have time to pray. After all, you have:
– a demanding job
– family responsibilities
– too much drama right now
Not only have I believed this, that God would just accept whatever I felt like giving Him based on how comfortable it was for me, but I had told this to other people. But is this the way He reveals Himself in the Bible?
He didn’t tell Abraham, “I understand how important Isaac is to you. A good father should love his son intensely.” No. He said “put him on the altar and kill him.”
No gods before Me. He still means that. He still wants those Isaacs on the altar. Some of them He will give back to us. But others He will require us to plunge the knife into. The choice is His.
David said, I will not offer to the Lord that which cost me nothing. (2 Samuel 24:24). My discipleship has cost me very little.
I don’t want American Christianity. I want radical, authentic Biblical Christianity. Discipleship is being redefined in my life. It is a journey into reality. I expect that it will be revolutionary.
And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers. Then fear came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were done through the apostles. Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common, and sold their possessions and goods, and divided them among all, as anyone had need.
So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved. Acts 2:42-47
There’s an old adage that goes like this – “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” I’ve seen the truth of this demonstrated many times in my own life and in the life of others. I see it also in Numbers 11.
The people of Israel have just been miraculously delivered from 400 years of slavery in Egypt. This group of people has never experienced freedom, but only the oppressive rule of Pharoah. Throughout the time of their captivity, they cried out to God for deliverance. He heard them and sent Moses. Now they are free.
It’s hard to imagine what that must have felt like. It seems as though the emotions would have been overpowering at times, especially as they witnessed the mighty power of God displayed on their behalf.
But after a year, the newness of freedom has worn off. Manna from heaven is no longer quite so wonderful. And the complaining begins. Dissatisfied with what God has provided they listen to the voice of discontentment and make it their own. But discontentment is a liar.
Discontentment lies about the past – “we remember the fish which we ate freely in Egypt, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic.” (Num. 11:5) Discontentment’s selective memory seems to have forgotten the bitter slavery, harsh taskmasters and forced murder of their children. It paints a picture of the past that appears very appealing and then casts it before our eyes that we might gaze longingly upon it.
Discontentment lies about the present – “but now our whole being is dried up…” (Num 11:6). Discontentment will always exaggerate the present difficulty, convincing you that it is unbearable and unreasonable to expect you to tolerate it. Discontentment will convince you that you are a victim of circumstances, one unfairly treated, deserving so much better than what you have received.
Discontentment lies about the future – “who will give us meat to eat?” (Num 11:4). The question implies that there is a fear that since they do not currently have meat, they will never have meat. Discontentment always seeks that thing that it does not currently have and grumbles because it sees no means to acquire it.
Complaining, grumbling and murmuring are the companions of discontentment. Where you find one, you will inevitably find the others. There are a sneaky lot, and can come upon us stealthily. But by the words of our mouth we can know if we have been caught in their net.
While discontentment may not be frowned upon in the world, it is most certainly frowned upon by God. Numbers 11:1 says that “the Lord heard it, and His anger was aroused.”
Our heavenly Father graciously allows us to ask Him for the things that we need. He even allows us to ask for things that we desire. But when all the asking is done, He expects that we will gladly receive what He judges best to give, with contentment.
We can safely be content, knowing that we have such a good Father who always gives us exactly what we need.
As a former rollercoaster enthusiast, I travelled to several states to experience the thrill of the coaster. The higher and faster, the better. I would wait in line for hours for a 3 minute ride.
You will find those who are mere amateurs in the ways of thrill rides clinging to the bars or harnesses through the whole ride, as if their grip in some way makes them more secure. But those who are more experienced defy the danger and hold their hands up, thus boldly making the declaration “I am not afraid.”
I haven’t been on a rollercoaster in a few years. Except the one that I’m living. I have become somewhat more experienced in this ride than I would have liked. But what my experience has taught me is that throughout the duration of this ride I MUST cling.
Jesus is my protection during this ride. He keeps me safe and keeps me from falling. I must cling tightly. And the more tightly I cling, the more firmly I can proclaim “I am not afraid.”
There are some rides we would rather not get on. But if we must ride, let us also cling.
“But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, That I may declare all Your works.” Psalm 73:28
“So Moses spoke thus to the children of Israel; but they did not heed Moses, because of anguish of spirit and cruel bondage.” Exodus 6:9
To get the total context of this you’ll need to start at the beginning of this chapter, but in the previous 8 verses the Lord has made some wonderful promises to Israel. Promises of deliverance and relationship with Himself. He hasn’t asked them to do anything, but states over and over – I will, I will, I will.
Moses brings this word to the people, a word that should have brought hope and encouragement, but they could not receive it.
Why? They were overpowered by the anguish of their spirit and the difficulty of their situation. To be fair, they were in great difficulty. Slavery is bad enough, but their affliction had only increased since Moses’ arrival. They were tired and discouraged and their spiritual condition and unfavorable circumstances prevented them from heeding what God had spoken through Moses.
I have this problem sometimes too. I have a friend at work who can tell when I’m stressed almost beyond my limit. At those times, she’ll look at me so compassionately and say, “It’s gonna be alright. Jesus is coming.”
That never fails to make me smile. Because He IS coming. He has promised to “come again and receive me to Himself” (John 14:3). But in the midst of my struggles, that promise doesn’t always resound so clearly in my heart.
I am thankful for the many ways He sends reminders to me. He always finds a way to help me hear Him.
“because for the work of Christ he came close to death, not regarding his life, to supply what was lacking in your service toward me.” Philippians 2:30
Epaphroditus was sent to Paul by the Philippians. Perhaps he was bringing an offering of love from the beloved Philippians believers. But at some point in his journey Epaphroditus became sick. So sick that he almost died. Paul says of this man that he did not regard his life because of the work of Christ. He risked it all.
This reminds me of the words of the Saviour in Mark 8:35, “For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it.” This is what Epaphroditus did.
The apostle Paul’s instructions to the Philippians regarding Epaphroditus are as follows: “Receive him therefore in the Lord with all gladness, and hold such men in esteem” (v. 29). There is something very admirable and praiseworthy in risking it all for Jesus.
John Piper has written a book titled “Don’t Waste Your Life.” It sits on my bookshelf and every time I see the title I feel rebuked. What a comfortable life I have. How little I risk for Jesus.
Safe? Yes. But isn’t there more to this life than being safe and comfortable? Isn’t there more than being liked and respected?
My heart aches to make an impact in this world for Jesus Christ. Why do I continue to cling to comfort, security and safety? What will it take for me to throw it all on the altar?
These questions are uncomfortable. They are haunting. But they must be answered.
I have a friend who is a math tutor. Several years ago she tutored a high school girl named Canita. Canita not only learned math from my friend, but she also learned Christ. Canita entered college as a strong believer. Her studies in International Health included a research project in Ghana. This is a portion of one of the emails Canita sent during her four month stay in Ghana. It has affected me so deeply that I wanted to share it.
“Waiting is definitely something I’ve gotten a stronger appreciation for since being here. My prayer life has catapulted to new heights, causing my craving for the Father to become so much deeper. Given my surroundings, I’ve had no other choice but to grow. See, the believers I hang out with in Ghana aren’t your typical Christians. They give the word “radical” new meaning and truly embody our old school description of a “Jesus freak.” I have friends here whose daily routines look something like this (look closely): 8:00am-4pm: work, 6:30pm-8:30pm: church, 12am-3am: personal prayer time, 3am-5am: personal bible study, 5am-6:30am: morning physical exercise. No, this is not an embellishment! When do they sleep you ask?! My friend, they don’t. Aside from the couple of hours they are able to squeeze in here or there, rarely do they sleep. When I first discovered this, I was astonished. As a student of International Health, I was initially very concerned for their physical well-being. This, I thought, can not be healthy. Yet, when I see each of them every day they always seem to have three times more energy than I do. They’re never tired, never irritable, and never ill. Like Paul, these men and women literally put their bodies under the subjection of the Holy Spirit daily (2 Corinthians 9:27). They fast weekly, pray constantly, and truly re-present Christ in this part of the world. As you could imagine, there’s no way I can live among such a humble, surrendered group of believers and not be moved. More than anything, they’ve taught me the art of sacrificial waiting. I’ve found that something happens in the spirit when we sacrificially give of our time, our sleep, our food, and our comfort to seek the heartbeat of God.”
And the Lord said: “I have surely seen the oppression of My people who are in Egypt, and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters, for I know their sorrows. So I have come down to deliver them out of the land of the Egyptians, and to bring them up from that land to good and large land, to a land flowing with milk and honey, to the place of the Canaanites and the Hittites and the Amorites and the Perizzites and the Hivites and the Jebusites. Exodus 3:7-8
I have seen
I have heard
I know
I have come
One of the most captivating truths of Christianity is that we do not serve some far off, uninvolved God who is indifferent to us. Consider this gospel truth – “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.” Eph 2:13
He created the entire universe and died on the cross for my sins.
He rules the whole world each moment and hears every word that I pray.
He is enthroned in heaven and yet He is with me daily.
The voice of the Lord thunders from heaven and whispers to my heart.
In 10,000 different ways He displays His love to those who are His.
Life involves pain. No matter how much faith you have, or how deep your love for and trust in God, you will experience pain. Some pain is minor and easily forgotten. But there is other pain that is so deep that you carry the ache of it with you in your heart. During the busy events of the day it isn’t always at the forefront of your mind, but as soon as there is a moment of quiet, the ache returns. Seasons of deep pain bring us to a crossroads in this life of faith. Will we turn from Christ and seek solace elsewhere, or will we throw ourselves upon Him in greater dependency, knowing that our only hope is in Him?
I am in one of those seasons of pain. Life has taken an unexpectedly difficult turn and may yet become more difficult before it gets better. I carry the pain of it with me and tears are a frequent occurrence. I am anxious for a change in circumstances that will alleviate this pain.
But in the midst of this pain, does God have a work He desires to do in me? Absolutely. And God has mercifully allowed me to see some of the beautiful fruit of it. I would choose fruit without pain. But God knows that the sweetest and most enduring fruit is that which is born through tribulation. His wisdom is beyond my understanding.
But as for me, I have made my choice.
“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber. Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand. The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.” Psalm 121:1-8
“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.” Matthew 13:44
Have you ever wanted something so badly that you would have done anything to have it? I know some people who are like that about every new piece of technology that comes out. They rush out to get it, spending way too much money, because they absolutely must have the latest thing. And once it has been acquired, they gleefully display it, describing the features and functions in detail to anyone who will listen. They don’t mind the expense, for their heart is set on this new purchase.
Now picture the man in this Scripture….walking through a field his foot hits an object protruding from the ground and he stumbles. Curious, he looks down to see what he has tripped on. He digs a bit and discovers a box. How odd that it would have been left in this field. He opens it, and to his amazement, it is full of gold coins and jewels. The gems catch the sunlight, almost blinding him with their sparkling brightness. He closes the box quickly, looking around to see if he is observed. Stealthily, he hides the box again. He searches for the owner of the field. He must purchase this field, he must have that treasure. The owner names his price – much more than the man has. Undeterred, he sells his home, his donkey, and all his possessions to raise the money to buy the field. All the earthly possessions he has acquired and enjoyed and treasured over the years, gone in an instant. But this man is filled with joy. Because now he has the field. Now he has the treasure.
For the joy set before Him, Jesus endured the cross, leaving the glory of heaven to come and die for sinners. And He has set a joy before us – the joy of knowing Him. Compared to this, all earthly joys fade into nothingness and all earthly treasures become dull and lackluster. So let us leave behind the trinkets we have entertained ourselves with and pursue with all our hearts the one true treasure – Jesus Christ.
He is my Delight 